Steve thinks that by calling his home a wilderness retreat he doesn’t have to mow the lawn anymore. And he’s right.
Although his house is located just two blocks off the main drag of beautiful downtown Hailey, Idaho, it’s secluded enough to be a world unto its own—which is one of the reasons I love going there so much.
Another reason is that I never know what the heck his quirky little mind has come up with in my absence, and I can’t wait to find out!
On my most recent visit, Steve told me about “Squirrel Snacks for Dogs,” the “Chip Your Child Foundation,” the “Chopstick Accessories Kit,” and his “Snooty Bastard Coffee” labels. (One cup will get you up.)
Obviously, Steve’s retired, and he has time for his mind to ponder the weird and wacky. He says he stopped watching “The News” years ago, and yet he watches Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert almost every day.
While I was there, he was assisting a friend in constructing a raised-bed garden. After they got the straw bales arranged, Steve realized she’d need something firm to set on the straw to sit on while she gardened, so as to not compromise the integrity of the bale. Since they live in Idaho, he made her a wooden potato seat.
“I understand the nice rounded shape,” I said, “but why bother to paint potato eyes on it?”
Steve rolled his own eyes. “You’ll just never understand.”
And perhaps he’s right. Perhaps I’ve lived too long in the world of practical reality. Perhaps I’m the Marilyn to his Herman Munster. But that doesn’t mean I don’t keep trying to fit in; I just have to work harder at it. Good thing he’s patient!
Long ago, I gave him a wind-twirler flamingo, which he named “Four.” If you immediately know why, then perhaps you’d like to invest in Steve’s proposed “No Frills Airline,” whose motto is “Sit down and shut up, we’ll get there eventually.”
Yes, Steve is the most eclectic of my friends…