As I reread my previous blog this morning, I realized that in the last line I’d made a small—perhaps subliminal, but nonetheless significant—error.
When I referred to the impending decision concerning the direction of my writing, I implied (or maybe inferred, as both words seem to fit) that I could have one but not the other. I deduced (is that any better?) that it was either this or that, black or white, good or bad. Either/or.
What I wrote was that my path would be that of “beauty or the beast.” OR the beast, not AND the beast. Interesting.
But this morning, I’m asking myself, “Why not both?” I was, after all, born under the astrological sign of Gemini—the sign of the twins. And I have often run full steam ahead with conflicting thoughts and goals without for a moment being immobilized by the inherent dichotomy.
Is it possible I could be experiencing a melding of two minds—both mine? I find it interesting that this particular enlightenment comes to me on January 6th—The Epiphany—especially since I don’t believe in accidents or coincidences.
I suppose it really doesn’t matter WHAT I’m writing, only THAT I’m writing.
Recently, I experienced a writing hiatus of many months while I immersed myself in a caregiving situation. I voluntarily put my writing on temporary hold. Looking back, I can see now that what transpired was nothing short of physically painful. I felt bottled up, stagnated, creatively constipated.
So “what if” this beast that I’ve felt stalking me is actually an internal creature who is urging me to return to my writing with a vengeance? “What if” I can write both fluffy and poignant? “What if” I decide to stop holding myself back and claim all genres and writing styles for my own?
To thine ownselves be true.