One year ago today I was in Hawaii, having one of the best vacations of my life. And yet it was a bittersweet trip. On one hand, I had never been to Hawaii before, and I was blown away by the entire experience, the mini-adventures each day and the overpowering beauty of it all. On the other hand, it was the swan song of my then-relationship, having decided months before that our time together was coming to a gentle end.

So why go to Hawaii with a man you’re breaking up with? Well, besides the obvious fact that we’d paid for the non-refundable trip six months before, it was also a peaceful way to say good-bye to that era of our lives. There were no hard feelings, and more than anything I wanted to end our relationship on a positive note.

And so we did. And here I am, a full year later, looking back with that crystal-clear 20/20 hindsight and realizing that for once, I have no regrets. It was definitely the right thing for us to do. The trip AND the break up. No need for mulligans on this one. Using the “Contrast and Clarity” step on relationships, I know with more certainty today what I DON’T want. Which means what I DO want is that much clearer.

It’s a question we can all ask ourselves on a daily basis when facing any and all types of decisions: “So, what do I want?”