It was a simple request, really. The Peninsula Players simply asked me to write a short melodrama to be performed during “Railroad Days,” July 16 and 17, in Ilwaco.

The secretary of the group said something about a train robbery, and that the 10-minute skit should have the traditional villain, a hero, and a damsel in distress. Or maybe I could use a saloon gal and a sheriff—it was up to me.

His first mistake was saying it was up to me. I immediately went online for the definition of melodrama and got lost in the nuances of the genre for about a week. When I emerged, confused and shaking my head, I started plotting a simple little train robbery.

But the characters took over, and suddenly I was dealing with an officious train conductor, a hard-of-hearing elderly couple, and a cross-dressing bank robber. Near the end, I threw in a sheriff for good measure.

So I’ve submitted “Cashing In on the Clamshell,” in the hopes that this non-traditional train skit will be close enough to what they envisioned so they accept it as is and don’t ask me to go back to the keyboard for a redo.

If it flies, I’ll let you know what times it will be shown. It’s a fun little romp, and if you use your imagination, you might even call it a melodrama.