My friend Idaho Steve had sent me a plain manila envelope a few days before Christmas one year with these instructions written boldly across the back: “Put this under your tree! Do not open until Christmas! Trust me! I will know if you open it earlier!”
Now I knew in my heart of hearts that Steve wouldn’t really know if I peeked into the envelope before Christmas, but as a matter of personal pride, I decided I wanted to be able to tell him truthfully that I had adhered to his mandate.
Christmas morning I checked to see that my cat Bubba hadn’t left any more snacks for later under the tree, and then began unwrapping my gifts. I saved Steve’s for last, and it’s a good thing, too. After I saw what he’d sent me, I shrieked and began laughing so hysterically that poor Bubba ran for cover. Steve was right; if I had opened the envelope any sooner than Christmas Day, he would have known about it, because I would have immediately called him!
Steve had taken a full-length picture of himself, fresh out of the shower, in the bathroom mirror. The flash from the camera “haloed” his head, so his face was totally unrecognizable. On the back of the photo he’d written: “You told me you wanted to find a naked man under your tree on Christmas morning, and I care enough to send the very best. Love, Steve.”
God bless those with a twisted sense of humor.