The written Hawaiian language contains only 12 letters. Five are vowels: a, e, i, o, u. These vowels may LOOK like the vowels we use in English, but the sounds they make are different. (ah – eye – eee – oh – ooo) The remaining seven letters are consonants: h, k, l, m, n, p, w.

There are no “silent” letters, and each letter makes only one sound. Initially, I thought this would make it easy to figure out the pronunciation of Hawaiian words. Unfortunately, not knowing the correct place to put the syllabic emphasis really made it tough to keep from being laughed at by the natives.

I could handle Honolulu and Waikiki, but I muddled other Oahu place names such as Hanauma, Haleiwa, and Kailua. On Maui I butchered my way through the airport at Kahului, the mountain of Haleakala, the Ioa Valley and the port town of Maalaea.

And then I took a little trip down “The Road to Hana.” The journey begins in Paia, goes past Hookipa Beach, on through Huelo (where you can see the Kaulanapueo Church built of coral in 1853), to Puohokamoa Falls. By the time I got to the black sand beaches in Waianapanapa, I was ready to help rewrite the entire language! Nevertheless, I made it clear past Kipahulu, to visit the grave of Charles Lindbergh at the Palapalo Ho’omau Church Cemetery.

I hope, as you’ve been reading this, that you’ve sincerely attempted to sound out those pesky place names. Next I’ll introduce you to the state fish of Hawaii. It’s the reef triggerfish, locally known as the Humuhumunukunukuapua’a.