I used to tell my students to “MYOB.” That’s the acronym for “Mind Your Own Business.” Nobody likes a tattle-tale, and I tried to teach them that lesson early on.

This is not to say that one shouldn’t report crimes or life-endangering situations. But sticking your nose into someone else’s personal business, where it clearly doesn’t belong, will only result in heartache, grief, and fewer friends.

This is where the hula hoop comes in.

Imagine stepping into a hula hoop. Everything INSIDE the hula hoop is your business, and you can attempt to control it. Everything OUTSIDE the hula hoop is generally outside of your control and none of your business whatsoever.

This includes the decisions your children or your significant other make; they need to be responsible for their own lives. A hula hoop reminds us that some things are outside of our control, and trying to exert control over others only festers resentments on both sides.

That of course, leads us to codependency and enabling, but today I’m just talking about control. Control is the ultimate illusion.

So I try to practice what I preach. Right this minute I have two hula hoops in my rec room—just in case I wear one out.