If you were one of the passengers riding Dial-a-Ride who got an unexpected eyeful when going by my driveway a few days ago, I sincerely apologize.

As I mentioned on the 9th, I needed to reclaim the area along my driveway that was threatening to return to its natural forest state. I went out armed to the teeth to tame my adversary and intended to emerge victorious a short while later.

“A short while” turned into a marathon event, with me huffing and puffing and sweating up a most unladylike storm. I am a large woman, no longer in the “morbidly obese” category, but definitely “above average” in size. In other words, sweating up a storm is not pretty.

Although I had a chair in which to rest, four bottles of water, and a phone for emergencies, pushing back the wilderness took more out of me than I imagined. At one point I sprawled out on the lawn and just lay there, wondering who would find me, and when. This, too, was not a pretty picture.

But being a rather resourceful person, and having paid close attention in biology class, I knew that the gentle breeze would cool my skin if I exposed it to the open air, so I began removing pieces of clothing to that effect. And if taking off my sweatshirt helped, then shucking out of my jeans would be even better, right?

Soon I was down to just my work shoes and underwear. And I felt fabulous! My energy returned, and I was able to continue cutting and clipping and hauling the yard debris without pause.

I may have mentioned before that I live in the woods, and any company I have most certainly calls first before making the trip way out here. So I worked for several hours without giving much thought to my lack of attire. All I knew was that I wasn’t lying prone in the yard gasping for air anymore.

The last load I hauled was the farthest from my staging area and approved campfire pit. There hadn’t been much traffic that morning, so I thought I could hurry out and grab that last bunch of branches and be back out of sight before anyone saw me. I bent over to grab that last armload just a fully-loaded Dial-a-Ride mini-bus glided quietly by.

As I said earlier, I sincerely apologize.

 

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