“You did what?” I asked my friend Anna Marie, certain that the static on our phone connection had garbled the message.
“I hung the Christmas tree from the ceiling,” she repeated.
“Oh… Ok… I’ve also tied mine to the ceiling to keep it from tipping over many times. I use fishing line.”
“No,” said Anna Marie, “I mean we hung it upside down from the ceiling.”
“Upside-down?”
“Is there an echo in here?” Anna Marie laughed. “You don’t have to repeat everything I say.”
“I’m just trying to wrap my mind around the concept,” I replied.
“It’s really a no-brainer,” said Anna Marie. “We have no room to put up a standard Christmas tree, so we had to improvise.”
“That’s improvising, all right. Tell me more.”
“There’s more space to put presents underneath it, the dog can’t knock it over, and the star on the top is now more of a centrally-located focal point for the kids.”
“What about tinsel?” I asked. “Doesn’t it look ridiculous hanging down like fringe on a lampshade?
“Tinsel is politically, or at least environmentally, incorrect.”
“Hey there! Be careful what you say. I always remove every single strand of tinsel and dispose of it properly before taking out the tree.”
“Then you’re the exception,” said Anna Marie. “But let’s get back to my reasons for the inverted tree.”
“Yes, let’s,” I agreed.
“You know all those especially pretty ornaments you have?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, often they get hidden in the branches of a standard tree. On mine, they’re clearly visible.”
“Okay, go on.”
“And here’s another good reason to do it this way,” she began. “You can walk all around the tree and see it from every angle; it’s not shoved up against a window or wall.”
“So how do you water it?”
“It’s not up long enough to worry about that,” said Anna Marie. “As soon as it starts showing signs of drying out, it’s time to take it down.
“Hhmm… Well, for your house, and for a standard 7-foot tree, I’ll concede it’s an… uh… interesting idea,” I finally conceded. “But it would never work here.”
“And why not? Do you fear change?”
“No, I just fear that suggesting we suspend a 12-foot tree by its base to the 12-foot ceiling would leave me without any hope of having any friends left by Christmas.”
“You’re right,” Anna Marie agreed, laughing. “It’s not for everybody.”