Obsessively playing “Bejeweled Blitz” probably isn’t the best use of my time these days, what with laundry still piled high from my most recent trip abroad, and my suitcase still lying on the floor with clothing, both clean and not-so-clean, scattered about.
But playing hours upon hours of a mindless, pointless, ridiculous time-waster game gives me some feeling of control in a time when I hate to be reminded that “control is just an illusion.”
Bottom line: Reality Sucks.
In the past month, a virtual emotional Blitzkrieg has battered, bruised and bludgeoned me, both mentally and physically, to the extent that I can’t seem to function like a normal human being. I keep wondering what in the hell is going on with my karmic flow—I’m generally a kind and gentle person—that could create such havoc in my life.
Even chocolate and ice cream don’t console me, so we know this is serious. I’m feeling like the world has tilted on its axis and I’ll be lucky if I don’t slide right off. Family and friends are seriously ill, and other family and friends are fighting over the best course of treatment. People I’ve counted on in the past don’t have much left to give.
So I’m continually “blowin’ shit up,” praying that, as my elementary principal once convinced me, “this too shall pass,” but I gotta admit, it better pass soon. I’m not sure just how many more sleepless nights I can lie awake worrying about things I cannot change.
I don’t usually throw this much angst into my blog, believing that this is a place for upbeat positivity, but today I just can’t help it. Things are not well. I hurt. Very few ever read these words I write here anyway, another major life disappointment, so I’m probably not losing any regular blog followers.
But for those who did read this far: Now would be a good time to pray.