Buying a whole watermelon, even a smallish one, is quite a commitment. I was inculcated by the “waste not, want not” generation, so I knew I’d have to become the Olympic champion of watermelon eating and finish it off before it spoiled.
Early the next morning, I decided to cube the whole thing up so it was all prepped and easily accessible. Soon 16 cups of cubed melon filled my refrigerator. Let me tell you, that’s a lot of melon cubes, especially since I usually eat only two cups at a time.
But before I sat down to enjoy any of the fruits of my labor, I had to dispose of all those rind rings and crescents. I didn’t want to put them down the disposal, and I didn’t want them filling up my garbage can, so I needed another alternative.
All kinds of critters regularly visit my yard. I’ve seen lots of deer, rabbits, squirrels, and an occasional bear. I decided I’d just throw these watermelon rinds out past the mowed lawn edge into the woods and let nature decide how to recycle them.
So there I was, standing on my back deck, taking one piece at a time and hurling it out towards the trees. The first rind hit the branches of my apple tree and dropped straight down. The second caromed into the rhododendrons and broke into several more pieces, all falling where I could still see them. Time after time I slung the rinds with all my might, knowing perfectly well who was going to have to go out there and pick them all back up.
To be fair, one or two rinds actually made it into the intended area. But the majority, let’s say at least a dozen, soon littered the backyard as testimony to my total ineptitude in the discus competition. It would have been pathetic if it hadn’t been so darn funny.
So why, you ask, didn’t I just walk out there in the first place and dump the rinds exactly where I wanted them? Because… because, truth be told, all I was wearing at the time was a big goofy grin and a pair of fuzzy slippers.
Later today I’ll go out and pick up what’s left of them before my lawn guy figures out what kind of a nut I am. You won’t tell him, will you?