“They say” the average American gains 7 to 9 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year’s. Unfortunately, I’ve often been above average.

I swear it’s a throw-back to the cavepeople era… When those who had a little more meat on their bones survived and those who had no body fat starved.

Or maybe it’s the “wolf mentality.” Wolves eat as much as they can whenever they can find it… Like at Christmas parties, Open Houses, and all the other holiday gatherings.

I believe my Native American totem is partly to blame. It’s a bear. A mama bear will fight hard to protect her young, and in the classroom I did just that. Protected them and taught them a little something, too. But I think that bear totem also encourages me to put on some winter weight and hibernate. No joke: As soon as it gets dark outside, all I want to do is crawl into my cave and sleep.

Wouldn’t it be nice if when I awoke, I was Spring Slim?!

Well, I suppose there’s at least one consolation to being a full-figured woman: If there’s ever a famine, I’ll live through it!