My last washing machine lived 38 years. My new one made it just 19 months before the tub quit functioning. It wouldn’t agitate on wash, and it wouldn’t spin on spin. It just sat there, filling with water, emptying the water, and not doing another blessed thing. Needless to say, the washer wasn’t agitating, but I certainly was!

I called for repair. The repairman arrived and took the front off the machine. He crouched down and counted the number of blinks the computer monitor blinked at him.

Say what? Since when do washing machines need computers? Women have been washing clothes for years, and they’ve always used a washboard, not a motherboard!

After the repairman counted the red blinks, he unscrewed the control panel on the top. He removed the multi-paged “manual” and started scanning down the list of possibilities.

He was quickly able to fix the problem, perhaps too quickly for the money I paid him, but the drum has been performing just fine ever since. Yet it’s still irking me that I got only 19 months out of a new machine before it needed repair, and there’s no guarantee that it won’t happen again. I guess it’s true: they sure don’t build them like they used to.

So in case you have the same problem, let me tell you what to do. No joke, you can repair your non-agitating washer yourself by following these simple steps: Unplug, plug back in, lift and close the lid six times in quick succession, then send me $65.