It’s so easy to second-guess yourself, fill your brain with self-doubts, rationalize not sticking your neck out and taking even a small risk. I wonder how many fantastic opportunities go by the wayside because we let our minor misgivings take over and limit our conscious behaviors.
In August I sent in a submission for Chapter 4 of the Coast Weekend romantic mystery serial story “Love and Murder in Astoria.” I didn’t tell anybody I submitted a story, because I was “afraid” of being embarrassed if my entry didn’t win. But it did win, and I tooted my horn loud and long.
When Coast Weekend editor Kathleen Strecker called with the news, I was naturally delighted, and in our happy conversation, she told me that I was free to enter again, if I chose to do so.
And my personal Negative Nanny immediately took over my every waking thought about entering a second time. “What if you don’t win?” “There’s only one way to go from #1, and that’s down!” “It’s impossible to win two chapters in a row.” “Who do you think you are, anyway?” And the worst one: “You’re writing isn’t good enough.”
Fortunately, I also have Positive Penelope living in my brain space. “Why not enter again?” “It’s a good writing exercise.” “You know a lot about Fort Clatsop, and you’d enjoy writing this segment.” “You’re not just a one-hit wonder, you can most certainly win a second time.” And my favorite: “Show the world it can be done!”
So one morning a couple weeks ago, well before the sun was up, I sat down at my keyboard and watched as Chapter 5 magically flew out of my fingertips and appeared on the computer screen.
And here’s the best part—I’m posting this a full week before I know the outcome. I truly haven’t a clue whether my story will be selected or not, but I know in my heart of hearts that I juggled the area’s historical facts, mixed in the murder mystery, and added the romantic touches as best as any writer could do. I am proud of the writing I did, and that is all that matters.
But I’d sure as the dickens would love to win again!
